absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
