Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
