my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
