atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
