I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
