East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
