Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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