Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
