Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
