the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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