You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
