i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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