so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
