I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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