What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
