My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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