Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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