my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
