I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
