I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
