i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
