im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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