Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
