get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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