she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
