So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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