Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
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Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize