this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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