i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize