That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
