Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
