After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
