i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
