It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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