I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
