I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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