So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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