i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
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If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
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I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize