i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
