youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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