this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My boob is missing a layer of skin
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
