break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
