I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
