On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
