Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
