So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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