I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
