Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
