I accidentally had phone sex last night
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
