hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
