Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
