And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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