"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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