Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
