it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
