I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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